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Three Words You Dare Not Say During The Holidays #NaBloPoMo

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We’re a few days away from Thanksgiving here in the US, and the holiday season is in full swing. Folks are talking about the menu for the meal. And if you’re celebrating with your entire family, maybe who is bringing what dish to the potluck. College Football is big during this time of year. The Trash Talk is already brewing. Folks are on social media talking about all of the things they are thankful for on a daily basis. You can smell the holidays in the air.

 

And for some, the air stinks.

 

That’s right. It stinks. There are a lot of folks walking around where this is the most stressful and painful time of the year. Some have lost loved ones. Others have lost a job, a business, a marriage or a friend. With all of the supposed cheer and thankfulness, for some the vacuum only seems bigger and bigger and bigger with no way out.

Depression is real. And it is only magnified during the holidays.

So, if I’ve described just an inkling of what you are experiencing right now, I want to give you permission to say these THREE WORDS THAT NO ONE DARES TO SAY DURING THE HOLIDAYS. However, you have to meet the following conditions before you can say them.

 

  1. If this is you,  I want you to know that you matter and someone is thinking about you.
  2. If you are isolating yourself from others to not deal with how you are feeling, find someone that you trust to talk to and tell them “I don’t need you to fix this. I just need you to listen.” And talk.
  3. If #2 is hard, please consider talking to a counselor.  If your employer (or spouse’s employer) offers EAP, there are resources available to you. I will also list a website that has resource numbers available.
  4. The spiritual aspect is important to acknowledge as well.  Even if you are mad at God right now, acknowledge it. He can handle it. If that seems strange, I would love to recommend this book to you by James Dobson,  “When God Doesn’t Make Sense” .

 

But by all means, do not go through this season alone. And if you know of someone who may be in this state of mind, be mindful and reach out to them.  The one thing a person needs when they are experiencing these type of emotional challenges is to know that someone genuinely cares.

 

So you’re going to do talk to someone and acknowledge what you’re feeling is valid, right? You’re  going to let folks into your life who want to help and not shut them out, right? You understand that you are not alone, right?

If you answered yes to all three of my questions, then I give you permission to say these three words. But you only are allowed to say this one time and you promise that you are on the path to not say it again.

HolidaysSuck

 

May Grace and Peace be with you this holiday season and know that YOU DO MATTER.

 

If this was helpful, please leave a comment.

 

Thanks to Mama Knows It All and A Houseful of Nichols for being so brave in writing about this subject.

Additional Resources: Crisis Hotline Numbers

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6 comments
Val Boaten
Val Boaten

Absolutely. Thanks for stopping by too..

Heather H
Heather H

Glad you are shining light on this issue. I know a lot of people that simply do not acknowledge depression, just think people should cheer up. I love Christmas, but unfortunately for some, the holidays magnifies issues with friends, family, money, etc.

Val
Val

Thanks Heather. I've just heard so much bad news from my friends. Folks do need permission to just be able to have their moment, but we can't allow them to stay there.

Janeane Davis
Janeane Davis

For some people the holidays are HORRIBLE. Thank you for giving people permission to admit that and keep living.

Shannon Gosney
Shannon Gosney

This is a great post. I do remember after my divorce feeling like the holidays sucked and had family and friends reaching out to my boys and I to make it that much better. Thanks for sharing.

Val
Val

Thank you Shannon. I just know so many who are in a rough place, but they don't have to stay there.

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  1. […] Having a rough time during the holidays, read this read this […]

  2. […] full swing during this time of year. But what I hate about this season is the sense for some of gloom and despair. Of feeling hopeless based on what we see, and feel and touch. That’s the battle of this […]

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