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Building Self Esteem In Our Tween Son #VoicesForOurSons

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Recently, our middle son tested for his yellow belt in Tae Kwon Do. He’s eleven, and I will admit that there has been some challenges with him being the middle child with finding something that he can call his own. We see so much about building self esteem in young girls. And there is nothing wrong with that. But building self esteem in tween and young teen boys is not talked about a whole lot.


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Society says that boys are suppose to be tough and confident. But how is that confidence obtained. Many find it through sports.

Read More about the price we place on sports in building up boys.

And there is nothing wrong with sports, but there are other ways to build up a boy to find their inner confidence.

When our son was going through the exercises for his belt test, one of the things he had to recite were the 5 tenets of Tae Kwon Do.

I want to leave them here with you as quoted from

COURTESY (Ye-Ui) in a broader sense is kindness, humility, good manners, politeness, and respect.

INTEGRITY (Yom-Chi) generally speaking, is honesty, straight dealing, purity, moral soundness, and uprightness. To have integrity means to be honest with everyone and with yourself at all times.

PERSEVERANCE (In-Nae) is persistence, a steadfast pursuit of and an understanding of the aim, continuation in the practice of Tae Kwon Do regardless of the amount of obstacles, hindering circumstances, difficulties, or occasional “let downs” which are only temporary situations. The strong will to hold on, regardless of obstacles. Loyalty.

SELF-CONTROL (Guk-Gi) is a double edged sword: on the one hand, it is the physical control with regard to motions, precision of execution, prevention of unnecessary injuries (as opposed to acting wildly) or killing, due to lack of control. Experience is the best teacher, but all the physical reactions are based on the psychological makeup, maturity, and moral, ethical, and religious codes. Emotions are usually involved, to a certain degree, in the majority of situations, hence the need for emotional self control. The degree of controlling the particularly strong emotions such as love, hate, anger, surprise, joy, sadness, etc., show the level of achievement of each practitioner of Tae Kwon Do.
Emotions should be governed by a strong and conscious reason and aided by experience in principles. The success of application of this tenet in practical everyday life should result in creating the indomitable spirit.

INDOMITABLE SPIRIT (Baekjul-Bool Gool) Indomitable means unconquerable, unbreakable, unquenchable. To put it simply, it means that one has such strong unshakeable beliefs and principles that even sacrificing the most precious possession one has, one’s own life, is not too high a price to pay in defending them. The most classical example of the application of this tenet is found in ancient Greek history, in the story of the Thermopylae, Leonidas and his 300 Spartans.

I can say that I am noticing a change in my son since he’s enrolled in Tae Kwon Do. These are characteristics that can help all of us to do our best in all aspects of life.


What tips do you have to build confidence in your son? Leave a comment. And if you have an article on building self esteem in Tween Boys Of Color, leave a link in the link up below.

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